One of Those Seasons

Have you ever had one of those days, when little things happen, irritating things that slow you down, take you away from your tasks, get in your way?

I've had one of those seasons.

In my last post, I detailed some of those things. Since then, my 22-year-old son, so frustrated with his love life, his inability so far to get a job, in an impulsive fit, tried to commit suicide by drinking a couple of bottles of wine and taking a bunch of Tylenols. He came very close to succeeding. He was online with someone, had mentioned what he had done, and when he stopped responding, the person online (in Chicago, IL) called our local EMS. When they found Boone, he was already jaundiced, which they said meant he was from 30 minutes to 2 hours away from death. Thank God for that online angel.

Now this isn't a little thing, but I feel guilty for complaining. I mean, Boone's alive! But the event -- his nearness to death, how close we came to losing him -- dealt me an emotional blow I'm not recovering from very quickly. And then I feel guilty because I'm so focused on how that has affected me. (I would focus on how it's affected Boone, but he won't let me.)

I can look at this spate of "bad luck" in several ways. First, I can just consider it bad luck. Just a matter of living life, of having children who are just now becoming adults and on their own to make their own mistakes, of living in a rough economy. But the sheer number of negative events makes me doubt that they are a result of normal bad luck.

Mike pointed out that all this stuff started happening right after I began tithing ten percent of the grocery budget to my church. I had asked Mike if he thought we could tithe our income, but he didn't feel we were able, so I'm just tithing what I have in my control. It's my way of saying, "I trust you, God. You have given us what we have; I can show my faith in you by giving back a tenth."

If there is some connection to the time that I began tithing, it could be from one of two possibilities.

It could be that Satan is attacking us because of my renewed faith, trying to separate me from my Lord. Or it could be as a friend put it, that God is winnowing us. However, I believe the Bible's promises, that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and God will not test us more than we can bear.

All this is just making me more of a clinger! Either way, it's been an interesting time. I wonder what next?